Yesterday for the first time since we started dated, Tim and I did not call me. I stayed up late in hope that he would call, but I was let down yet again. The last time that we did not talk was back in march/april last year when I did not want to talk to him cause I was scared. We had been talking on and off at that point. We agreed on a weekend for him to come up and visit and hang out. I was excited to get to see him again. However, when he arrived and came to work, I was scared out of my mind. I was cold to him then. When he called the next couple of days, I ignored him. I eventually did call him on his way home. He did not sound happy with me. I then stopped talking to him because I thought he was angry and did not want to talk to me. He tried to email me, and I did answer a few of them. But I never picked up the phone to call him. The only phone call I received from him was letting me know that he received my new phone number. It wasn't till I received a card from him that I realize that he was still there for me. However, when I tried to call him, he did not answer his phone. I thought I lost him. That was only a week and half before we started dating. Since then, we have talked every single day. So yesterday when he did not call, my mind went back to those days.

Mom says that I should not rely on Tim to make me happy and other things that I don't remember exactly. I don't think I do. I just want to talk to him. Its hard to not talk to the one you care for and the one you love. In order for a relationship to grow, you have to have our time. I believe that Tim and I need to have our time in order to grow and get to know each other on a different level. I did know that going into the week that Tim is in Montana that I might not get to talk to him. At first he wanted me to go all week without talking to him. But I threw a fit about that. So he said that he would call when he can. When he said that, I thought that he would call at night before going to bed every night. I did not expect no phone calls on certain days.